


The Last Girls

by Missy



Category: The Cabin in the Woods (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Vampire Slayer, Beginnings, Developing Relationships, F/F, Horror, Yuletide Madness 2015, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 05:11:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5526656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inviting a Slayer to the sacrifice was not a bright idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Last Girls

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ijemanja](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ijemanja/gifts).



They should have picked the evil gnomes. 

Or the pirate ghosts or something almost invincible; something tiny and vicious that would be thrilled to eat their way through the required sacrifices in a bloody and painful manner. 

It hadn’t worked out that way. No, in fact, it had become quite a different story. Instead of a nominal, ordinary, everyday sacrifice, they were paying witness to a monster slaughter.

“Damn, look at her go,” one of the assistant directors remarked, earning them a stony glare from The Director.

Her fists tightened, knotting the hem of her skirt as blood splattered over the lens of one of the cameras. They should be down to three or two by now; should have two of the five needed sacrifices trussed and ready for sacrifice. They should have a final girl, or a final boy – a final somebody, ready to be thrown to the wolves so the gods will meet. But no – all of the kids were living and accounted for right on the monitor.

She yearned for a cigarette. They _should_ have unleashed the killer magician. He’d been in training for a full year – he was ready for bloodshed. 

But no. No. They all knew the rules and the redhead had touched the stake. So it had to be vampires, and vampires were what they had unleashed.

The whore had made herself a seemingly easy meal; had wandered out into the woods, separating herself from the group, creating an easy target for death. But no one on the faculty floor had counted on the fleet-footed skills of their would-be-victim. Blood and dust dripped freely from the screen, but they didn’t belong to their designated victims. 

“Damn it,” she muttered. “We bred them to be stronger than iron! Why are they falling so quickly!?”

The director leaned closer to the monitor, watching the small blonde girl shatter a vampire’s face with a roundhouse kick to the jaw. “Where did that girl come from, and how the hell did SOMEONE in research end up picking BUFFY SUMMERS as this year’s whore?”

There wasn’t any answer forthcoming from the crew around her, but a flurry of papers indicated that someone was headed down to research to get her an answer. The Director’s expression turned grim; she leaned forward in her chair and rubbed her chin as she studied the mayhem taking place before her. This was a problem that might not be solvable through normal means. Would releasing more creatures be against the rules?

“Give me another dozen vamps – but wait until she gets back to the cabin. Maybe we can take them by surprise.” 

They’d cast their dice - they pick the evil vampire cult. Now they’d have to wait and see if the vampires were smart enough to take the little blonde out.

%%%%%%%

Jules rose from her crouched position, flicking back her blonde hair and surveying the chaos before her. Two down, she thought to herself, who knew how many more to go when they were fond of clustering in caves like hunks of bat guano?

She sheathed her scythe upon her thigh, thinking to herself that her watcher would be incredibly proud of her – if not annoyed that she’d dusted them so bloodily. _Everyone from here to Australia could hear that kill,_ she could hear Watson scold her. _Do be more careful, Jules. Don’t want to end up dead, do we?_ When…if…she got back to him she’d have to tell him she aced the test and then some. 

But now wasn’t the time to rest on her laurels; she had people to save. Jules quickly stalked off to find her friends, to check and make sure that the cabin was secure. If there were vamps out in the woods then there might be more trying to get into the only stronghold with living creatures, where the smell of fresh blood had to be teasing their evil little nostrils. 

She worked the lock open with both hands, struggling with the rusty bolt. The amount of blood and guts she’d been coated in screamed the tale, there was no way she could keep lying to them now. She thought briefly to herself that there were stranger ways for her to admit to her friends that she dusted vamps every night.

Two steps over the threshold and back into the safety of the group dynamic her voice was silenced by the sound of bats shrieking their way down the chimney.

%%%%%%%

“A damned slayer? You REALLY picked a goddamned SLAYER for the sacrifice?! You're not bullshitting me?” 

Profiling –she never bothered to learn his name and now she never would, because if they all survived the ritual his ass was going to be grass - cringed. “I didn’t know when I told them yes! She seemed like another dumb blonde.”

“That dumb blonde just killed our best vampires!” The Director yelled. She pointed at the screen, where Jules was busy slicing throats. “If she lives it’s all of our asses!”

%%%%%%%

Everything got very, very quiet. Jules wiped her stake and her scythe on her thigh this time before sheathing it – there was no time for elegance at this mess of a life.

Marty blinked at her out of layers of vamp dust. Curt spoke first. “What the fuck?”

“That was amazing! But scary! But amazing!” Dana said – she’d hidden behind the couch when the action had begun. 

“Do you have something to tell us Jules? Like how you ended up with super awesome ninja skills?” Marty asked.

“It’s a long story…I’ll tell you if we get out of here.”

The key, Jules knew, would be keeping them together and figuring a safe path to freedom. If it existed at all at this point.

%%%%%%%

Four hours later and they were finally down to three of them – the fool, the whore, and the virgin. As The Director hoped and prayed that they’d all do their duty and die as the rest of the world solved puzzle boxes and put evil spirits to rest, Jules figured out that there was a secret pathway out of the damn place. The same toepath that would take them to the faculty that should have been obscured by a digital smoke screen, which Jules figured out how to undo by throwing a fucking branch through it.

“WHO DIDN’T SEAL OFF THE EXIT PATH?”

There were fingers pointing. There were accusations. But they couldn’t do anything else but watch.

%%%%%%%

All three of them stood before her now, covered in blood, angry, in the control room they’d fought their way to enter. “Before you get too hasty just remember that I was like you once, Jules.” 

The redhead clung to her shoulder. The stoner looked determined. “I’ll make you a deal,” Jules said. “You let us go and I won’t kill you.”

“You could have it all. Just kill the other two. The world could be yours,” The Director said.

Jules frowned. Then she took one limping step toward the Director. “Have you ever checked your team? Found out if you have your own little team of virgins and whores? It doesn’t have to be our blood.”

“But it does. You’ve been chosen. It’s almost an honor in a way…” She saw something there, flickering in the corner of her vision, and turned away to face one of the screens.

The three others let their eyes fly to the monitor as well – and there the German team was celebrating. Five dead teenagers, one living scholar and a very dead yeti rendered the whole situation moot.

%%%%%%%

“Thanks for saving us back there, Jules,” Marty said.

“Would you really have killed her?” Dana sounded awed – and a little turned on, weirdly enough.

“If I had to, I would have,” Jules admitted. “Now, let’s get back to civilization. I’ve got to report this to my Watcher. There’s got to be a way to stop this from happening next year.”

“Can I come with you?” Dana asked. Jules grinned, reached for her bloody hand and squeezed gently. “Want to come too, Marty?”

“Do they have food there?”

“Yep.”

“Lead the way.”

**Author's Note:**

> I could not resist the idea of Slayer!Jules if I tried. Have a happy Yuletide!


End file.
